There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Randomize