I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Randomize
