He had one of those small greek statue penises
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
I wish there were birth control emojis
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
