So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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