He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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