I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
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