break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Randomize
