sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Randomize
