Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
