either way he was missing a nipple.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize