can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Randomize
