he wants to bone in the snuggie
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
