I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Randomize