But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
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