i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Randomize
