This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
