why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Randomize
