I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Randomize
