we have officially lost it.
your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Randomize
