why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
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