we have officially lost it.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
