he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Randomize
