Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
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