You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
