I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
