You really coming over, don't trick.
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
