Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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