I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
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