Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Randomize
