The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Randomize