I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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