i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
