worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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