If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
Randomize
