so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize