How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Randomize