it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize