Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
