Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Randomize
