Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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