Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
