Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
