I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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