That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
