Kiss
Puke
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Randomize
