I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Randomize
