I swear god or herbie drove my car home
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
