he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
Randomize
