I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
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