Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
we're making bets on your personal life
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Come share oat with me in your robe
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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