All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
Please, let me fuck your mom
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Randomize
