what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize