last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
People with herpes should wear stickers.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
