if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Randomize
