last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
