Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
