Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
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