I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Randomize
