Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
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