Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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