i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
there is puke in my bra ... again
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize