We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
organizing the empties. That sober.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
