I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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