the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize