I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Randomize
