So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Randomize
