I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize