I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
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