Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
