Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
